Moms are superheroes without capes :)

Medical stuff

2008-11-26T07:12:00.001-08:00

I went to the drs last nite. I had been feeling dizzy a lot and queasy and just not right. I had shortness of breath and would get sweaty. It wasn't normal so I sucked it up and went. Turns out I was having panic attacks and my blood pressure was too high. I didnt feel all that stressed out to be having these attacks. But none-the-less that was the diagnosis. So i am on anti-anxiety meds and a sleeping pill since i am an insomniac. If that doesnt stabalize my blood pressure, then the doc wants to see what is causing that and I'll have to go for tests. Oh so much fun!!! :(

On an even worse note, I got home from the dr. and got a call that my grandfather has pheumonia and is back in the hospital on an oxygen machine. They are trying not to intubate him but if they have to they will and he will go into intensive care. I feel sad for not only me but for my grandmother who has faithfully taken care of him for almost 40 years. This is not a good situation and I pray the Lord makes his will be known. I dont want to see my grandfather suffer anymore. He just got out of the hospital 2 weeks ago because he had yet another stroke. I know my grandmother will be a wreck when the Lord takes him home. So I pray for her well-being and for her to have strength through all of this.

What a dreary post this is ! Sorry!!!

Angie is under construction

2008-11-19T12:21:00.000-08:00

OK so basically, I have realized that I am a very pessimistic person. I never seem to be happy with anything. There is ALWAYS a down side to EVERYTHING-mentality.

So I have realized it ..i am not in denial anymore. All the countless times Doug has said "Babe, you are hard to please because you dont see the good in anything." I am seeing this is true..he was right???? Whoa! Hope he doesn't read this blog :)

So, now, my challenge is to change that attitude because I really do have an awesome life. Sure, there are things that drive me nuts, and there are times when i want to lock myself in the bathroom and scream as loud as I can. But I think all wives-mothers-humans can relate to that. And I think its ok to feel that way and get frustrated sometimes. But its not healthy ALL the time which is what I am learning. I come from a family of anxiety-ridden Italians so I think I inherited the anxiety trait :(

I have an amazing husband who has always been there for me and helps me with anything I ask. He loves me and I know he does and that is something to be grateful for!! He's been by my side since we were 13 and to this day is my best friend. I have 3 amazingly bright, talented, gorgeous little girls who are really well-behaved and polite, loving kids. They have their moments as any child does but all-in-all I am lucky. They are healthy, well-adjusted, God-fearing children and I love them with all that I am as a mother.

The point of this blog (seeing as its almost Thanksgiving and all) is to remind myself that even though money can be tight at times, and stress-levels can be high, and my anxiety WILL flare up occasionally, I am truly blessed with all that God has given me. I need to let go and let God take control. I can't do everything on my own. I can't control other people. I can only control MY actions and words. So pray that I can follow through with this endeavor of challenging myself to be better. To love those who love me. To give when others need. To speak gentle, kind words. To hug my kids at the end of the day even after they torture me. To tell Doug I love him every night and thank him for the love he gives me even when I don't deserve it.

Updated pics of the kids

2008-11-19T11:55:00.001-08:00

Liz is getting all growed up HAHA

Amanda loves her little sister :)

Emma being her usual goofy self!

Back to work?? Oh boy....

2008-11-19T10:50:00.000-08:00

So I am back to work full-time ( like a real job with real adults !!) No more staying home with my little gyrls anymore. :( I am not sure how I feel about it but I know it had to be done and it was a mutual decision between Doug and I that when Emma was 4 I would go back...the kids are growing up and I am not making any more babies so there really was no sense in it anymore. We aren't rich so staying home forever was NEVER the plan. Emma needs to be with kids instead of with mom all day and Amanda is in kindergarten and Liz obviously doesn't need me home..seeing as she is 11 now and in jr. high. (Wow ..i feel old)

I have a hiding sadness about it, though. I miss them all day and when I get home from work, instead of them being happy to see me and jumping all over me (yes i seriously thought i was THAT important to them) they are dissapointed to leave their friends and get in the car with mom. So that was a little bit of a shock that they can survive without me ( I have to admit I thought they would constantly be attached to my hip) But I guess I am learning to let go of the idea that they are "babies" anymore. They can always be MY babies but they are growing up whether I like it or not !! Needless to say, the gyrls are adjusting so much better than me !